A crisis of willingness

Serving the economy

When money was first invented it probably was a great invention. It facilitated transactions and perhaps it even enabled wealth distribution. In other words: money served us. Today our monetary system has grown into a capricious monster with a life own called the economy. The economy needs to be well-fed and taken care of, otherwise beware of divine wrath!... When upset, the economy first growls to spread fear and make everyone serve it even harder. When that is not enough it just launches an attack and swallows people...

Today money doesn't serve us, we serve it. We are enslaved to economy.

A crisis made out of thin air

Today the economy is growling again and has started swallowing people as well. It's crisis. If we take distance from the economy for a moment however we will see that the most essential things that build our world have not changed.

• Did food production suddenly drop drastically so that many need to die from hunger? NO. In fact there is enough food being produced today on the planet to provide everyone with a 2700 kcal diet per day [1]. Hunger and malnutrition are unnecessary.
• Did the world population suddenly drop so that there are now not enough people to work and create the food and comforts that we all so cherish? NO. On the contrary many are unemployed.
• Did the physical and digital infrastructures that we have suddenly collapse? NO. The world has never been as connected as it is today! Never has it been as easy to share information, ideas and resources.

What does this mean? It means that in principle we have all the infrastructure, natural resources and manpower necessary to keep everyone happy on this planet.

So what is this crisis really about? The only crisis I see is a crisis of willingness. The willingness to open our eyes and see that today we can abandon the old paradigm and build a better world. The willingness to put our differences aside, unite as humanity and create those conditions that will allow the maximum amount of people to live healthy, comfortable and happy lives.

Open your eyes: We can abandon slavery and build a better world.

The voices in my head

I sat down to meditate a few days ago, trying to silence my mind. However, thought kept arising and I took a moment to observe them.

I realized that there are several types of thoughts or voices. Each voice has its own character. There is:

The (micro-)manager: Constantly telling me about the things that I should do. "You still have to do this.", "Oh, do not forget to do that too.". "When you open your computer, don't forget to send an email to X, and don't forget to mention that ....." etc, etc, etc. Making a to-do-list shuts her up usually. But sometimes she just goes on, and on, and on....

The DJ: This one loves playing music! This usually is fun, unless of course she is playing an annoying song. Or unless I want to meditate! ;)

The VJ: This one loves playing back scenes and conversations from my life. Unfortunately she quiet often shows me those parts that make me feel insecure and/or ashamed. When I am lucky, she shows me fleeting images of beautiful moment. Then other times she also plays back neutral scenes for no apparent reason.

The blogger: Whenever I have an insight or follow a trail of thought, this voice translates everything into words. She loves describing my thoughts and experiences in a way that will allow me to share them. She is also quiet obsessed with finding the right words and often rephrases... Persistently she keeps on repeating her "wonderful" phrases until I write them down (which I am doing now). PS: I think she is rather vain and has some issues with her mortality.

The simpleton: This voice makes me laugh! When all the other voices have been silenced this one pops-up and says something like: "I am sitting!", "I am here!" or "I am!". She loves stating the obvious! I guess she likes to affirm her existence.

The lunatic (or: the politician): I sometimes hear her talking right before I fall asleep. She always seems to be talking about something mightily interesting and oh, so intellectual! She talks of things that are beyond me and her beautiful, impressive words flow like a waterfall. However, whenever I try to zoom-in and understand what she is saying she stops! As a result I never know what she is talking about, but I suspect that her speech has no true substance.

The observer: Of course there must be someone experiencing all of this, listening to all these thoughts. I call her the observer. Usually she is the one acknowledging feelings and listening to the voices.

After having experienced this I get the feeling that I most definitely am not my thoughts. Thought just happen in me, that is all...Who am I then? I don't know, but it makes me very curious about what others think or have experienced along these lines.

Nationalistic 'idiology'

Lately people have started to exhibit the very tiring habit of wanting to (in the best case) talk to me about the Greek crisis and get some insider's information, or (in the worst case) pass some condescending comment on the Greek population through me... I happen to be born half-Greek and this apparently justifies for people directing their fear and frustration towards me.

When people do this I always wonder: “what do you really want from me?”

I am just a simple human being like you.

Just like you I don't know how this crisis came to be.

Just like you I don't know what the best solution is.

Just like you I feel powerless.

Just like you I think it sucks.

Just like you I wish things were different.

But no, apparently I am not just like you.... Cause you want me to listen to your indignation. You want me to listen to how you good, hardworking and generous Dutch are going to loose money and how you might need to compromise some of your luxuries.

Apparently I am not just another human being anymore.

I am the lazy and corrupt Greek and you of course are the good, Dutch Samaritan who is being exploited.

I am, at that moment, just a representative of the Greek nation, to be interrogated and to be punished, while you don't even know that I in fact hate the concept of nations.

What tune would you be singing if you were born Greek? Would you still talk with the same air of indignation and would you not be the hardworking and honest person that you are today?

Beside the fact that you are passing simplistic judgments upon a whole population (didn't World War 2 teach us the dangers of doing this?) you are also forgetting that all what you claim to be rightfully yours (your country's wealth and prosperity) has nothing to do with you. You talk as if it were created by your own sweat and tears but all you ever did was to be born in a country called the Netherlands. I am sure it must have been excruciatingly difficult for you to crawl out of your mother's belly in a country with such bad weather (;p) but seriously do you think that you therefore, more than others, deserve a lifelong of comfort and prosperity?

“Yes, but my parents/ancestors worked hard!” Well, whose parents didn't!? Would you rather trade places with a family living off the e-waste in Ghana? And then again, did you choose your parents?

All you ever did was to effortlessly receive the result of centuries of human history and bloodshed. And now here you are, shamelessly taking it and making it your own; protecting it with all your strength so that others may famine while you flourish...

When will we stop thinking about nations and start putting humans first?

PS: Feel free to substitute Dutch and Greek with any nations you like.... This happens everywhere...

Goodbye philosophy (Philo arrête sa philo...)

“What is matter made of?” , “How did our universe came to be?”, “Is this reality or a dream?”, “Do we have a soul?”, “Do we even exist?”

I've spent the 25 first years of my life trying to understand the nature of our reality. I was mightily intrigued by these kind of questions and passionatelly tried to educate myself on all sorts of matters. I read and read and read, and thought and thought and thought, all the time having the illusion that I am on a quest towards understanding.

What naive an idea... These questions have been the same since Aristotle and although their form might have changed, and some possible answers are excluded (you probably do not believe that rain is poured from the clouds by people with buckets ) we will never have the ultimate question to these answers.

But let's assume it is possible to fin answers and let's even assume that we know the answers today..

Imagine that you are convinced that we are living in a dream and what is more, you have in fact proved it. Ok, great. A true breakthrough! Now, if I were to slap you hard on your face, would your conviction about reality make the pain go away? See what I am heading at? The answers to these “grand questions” about life and reality do not matter much. We are here today, there is no escaping that. All you have to do is try to survive.

I have hit a wall, I just realised that my “quest” is not really leading me anywhere. When I think about how I used to judge people who did not share my passion about these “grand questions” I feel deeply ashamed. I used to think: “How can you just live on like that without asking yourself these questions?”. Well today my answer is: “Very well, thank you. In fact I started to enjoy life more since I gave up trying to do the impossible and focused my energy on more tangible things”.

But the old self still has a reproach: “If everyone thought like you there would be no philosophy and no science and none of all progress we made! If no one were curious about understanding reality we would not have gotten anywhere...!”

New self:

“First: You are exaggerating, that is not the only motivation for technological and medical progress. Second: Even if it were so, what has this “progress” really achieved? Sure it's great that today we have all this technology and medical care. Yes, we do live longer and don't have to shiver in the cold, but are we happier? The things that make people happy or miserable have not changed since the first humans walked the earth. Happiness is more than physical well-being. The way our loved ones treat us, the way we treat them, how we feel and think about ourselves and others, that is what makes or breaks a life. Sure, death does too, but that is an inevitable part of life. Third: this is my life and if I do not want to contribute to science or participate in this intellectual sport called philosophy then this is my choice.”

So philosophy, here we are. It's time to say goodbye. After so many years it hurts to let go, but I have truly had it with you. I have better things to do than waste my time and energy on questions that have no answers. At 25 I am finally free, I can go ahead and just live.

Goodbye philosophy.

Why search for God?

There are many guides on "how to seek union with the Divine". Anything from prayer, to meditation, to trance, to DMT is suggested. Each religion has their own method of course but suprisingly all seem to agree that this "search for God" is a good thing, something to be encouraged...

What I never understood is why...? Why is it such a good thing to search for God?

Let's assume that we do have an eternal soul and that we can attain union with the Divine....

If our purpose were to be "one with the Divine" then we would not have been put on earth in a material body in the first place, right?

Ok, so if being one with God is not the purpose of our earthly life then what is? The experience of desperately trying to attain the immaterial with our physical bodies? Why even try when we will be immaterial once we die anyway?

So, what is our purpose then? Perhaps to focus on the material...? That would make "seeking the Divine" obsolete and in fact counterproductive...

And still, where you or I ever to find the 'divine', what would really change? (instead of having a mental assurance that our life is probably purposeful although no one can really tell us why exactly). I would still need to feed my stomach and drag my sad, fat ass over to the toilet afterwards...

I guess then that it is has no "higher purpose"... It is just good if you like it, that's all.

Being invisible

All of a sudden, the strangest thought came to me last night.

It would seem to me that there are two ways that others can make you feel invisible (and vice-versa):

1) By plainly ignoring you. You feel ignored, alone, invisible. This one is quiet obvious.

2) By adapting themselves too much to you. And this is what is a new/strange thought for me.

The logic is the following: When the people around you entirely mold themselves around your wishes and desires, they virtually create no resistance in the decisions you make and your path in life (and thus also have no influence on it). It is as if there was nobody. No solid human being. Just thin air enveloping you... No matter how hard you wave your arms you will feel at most a slight breeze.

Once more you will feel alone, and invisible... How ironic (and funny).

Life is a cruel joke

Sometimes I feel as if life were a punishment... As if it were out to prove us wrong and teach us humility over and over again. You swear we will never do something only to find yourself doing it. You judge others only to become like them. You fall in love only to fall out of love. You wish for peace but are confronted with war. Life gives you beauty, then takes it away. Life gives you a dream, and replaces it with reality!...

It all starts when we are babies. First we are one with our mother and never feel hungry or cold. Then we are born. That is where the shit (both figuratively and literally) starts. All of a sudden we feel hungry, cold and wet. We are unhappy and we cry to get our mothers attention. And then (when she finally arrives) she doesn't always seem to understand what we need!... :( Darn!... Things used to be so perfect back in her womb! Why this?

So there goes lesson number one in life: learn to cope with your frustrations cause life is not always going to give you what you want! Unfortunately we are not done yet. No, you are going to have this same lesson taught to you over and over again little fellow! Wohoo!

Let's continue shall we? You are a kid: you still believe in fairy tales and the sky is the limit. You are going to change the world and be the next superstar, Einstein, Bill Gates, Ronaldinho!!! Years later you have not become Einstein neither Ronaldinho. And you realise that you never will (lucky are those who die young). So, you try to scale down your dreams: Ok, I guess I can also be happy with a nice job and a loving partner. You think that is a modest wish? Behold, for in fact these are as unattainable as becoming Einstein was in the first place!..

Let's assume that you do get your dream-job and you do get your dream-partner. Now, remember, life has a lesson to teach you, so sooner or later you will get disillusioned with your dream-job and/or fall in love with someone else!.. Ouch... So what is one to do then? Seems like there are two solutions: either you stick with what you got or you leap into the unknown.

• Option number one: Stick with what you got and you will most probably be left with feelings of discomfort, frustration and “what if” thoughts for the rest of your life (sure, you can always sweep them under the rug, but truth be told, they are observing you from their dark hidding place).
• Option number two: You take the leap only to find yourself in the exact same situation a few years down the line with absolute happiness still not attained! Again you have to choose whether you flee or stay.

So either way, you are never perfectly happy! The worse part is that somehow life has given us the illusion of absolute happiness. What it fails to give us however, is a “perfect reality” to match this. We are thus stuck in a complicated and imperfect world with our idealistic notions of happiness. How incredibly cruel!..

Once again life is laughing at you: still haven't learned your lesson?

So what do wise men (and women) say to this? Well, I don't know enough to give a representative account (:p), but one thing that does come to mind are those saying about how one should “free themselves from desires” in order to attain happiness. Seems logical given the impossibility of finding the perfection we desire... I can totally see how this works for material things. Sure, you'd be much better off not desiring that new, huge and unaffordable flat TV screen! But if you truly have no desires at all, you in fact do not even have the desire to live anymore..! You don't have the desire to wake up in the morning, to meet others, to eat a nice meal, to help a fellow human being. In short: you just wait for death to come!... Hmmm... That cannot be the solution then can it?... Life's cruelty thus goes on and on....

Strange enough though life seems to have an other, more cooperative side as well. You ask questions and somehow the answers come to you. Circumstances change to fulfill your deepest desires. Opportunities present themselves. You find hope where there was none. You find love and understanding where you least expected them. Ephemeral but beautiful. As if there was a bigger plan or a loving hand guiding your way.

So, what is one to conclude? I really don't understand this anymore! What is this insane mix of punishment and help??? Of giving and taking? What is life trying to teach us at all?

Perhaps this is just the same good old lesson over again. Perhaps it is life's way of saying:

“Suck it up Philo, you will never understand what life is about!”.